Following the 2020 Presidential election, I began to think of comedian Jeff Foxworthy's famous bit, "You might be a redneck". I do love his humor! However, my own celebration of another free and fair U.S. election was soon urinated on by sore losers and psychopaths.
The now former president, Donald Trump, has claimed without any evidence that he, in reality, won the election, "by a landslide".
Apparently, sixty separate court appearances by his legal team did not sway a single judge. Mind you, some of these were conservative, Republican Trump appointees!
The state of Georgia counted their votes and then did TWO recounts. All showed there was no fraud. The count was correct and Georgia went blue for the first time in decades! Two Republican senators there also lost and Georgia sent its first African American Senator to Washington!
BUT, it didn't really end there.
We know what happened on January 6, 2021. Trump supporters were encouraged by their leader to come to Washington to "stop the steal". On that day, literally thousands showed up in our nation's capitol to hear the man claiming to have been cheated by a "rigged" election. No such evidence has yet been produced. However, with their Supreme leader egging them on, and with Don Jr. and Rudy "Bleeding Hair" (I think that must be his "Indian name"), calling for them to "fight like hell" and for "trial by combat", the mob marched to the Capitol building. Former President Trump assured them, "I'll be with you". Of course, that was another lie. Trump retired to the White House, to watch his mob with glee! Others in the room reported he seemed delighted with the violence playing out on live television! He was smiling and seemed confused that others were not equally thrilled to see the People's House attacked and lawmakers threatened with DEATH!
The insurrectionists' intent was to stop the election results from being certified. They failed. But, not before five people lay dead, dozens were injured and lawmakers were literally being hidden by the Secret Service to protect their lives! A gallows had been erected and the mob chanted "Hang Mike Pence" and "Bring us Pence". They had been told by Trump that Pence had the power to stop the electoral votes from being submitted officially, another lie that put his own Vice President's life in danger! It was the most sickening, completely misguided effort I have ever seen in my 56 years in this country! How any reasonably sane person could think this was acceptable is beyond me! Worse is to call this "patriotism". Some of the mob very plainly said to reporters, "This is the revolution!" AGAINST WHAT?! DEMOCRACY?!
Now, we have seen Republican controlled state legislatures passing voter suppression laws. Arizona's lawmakers approved doing a recount of millions of votes in the most populous county to go Biden. Rather than following normal procedures for recounts, Arizona hired the "Cyber Ninjas", a company with no experience in election recounts. Ballots have been "scanned" for bamboo fibers from China and watermarks on the "real" ballots, which bear Trump's very own, hand stamped watermark he personally put on them, they say. It has also been rumored that an Italian satellite or laser or Christ, maybe it was Ted Nugent, changed ballots from Trump to Biden votes, from SPACE!
Whew! Ok...deep, cleansing breath...sanity will surely prevail. This is what I tell myself and try to believe.
What started as an idea for a funny "Foxworthy"-style list became this serious post. I don't really like that, so let's at least spend a few minutes being more lighthearted.
After each item on the list, say "You might be a Trumpster." We will do my "so far" Top Ten. Ready? Go!
1) If you love the Second Amendment of our Constitution but haven't read the Second Article...(you might be...)
2) If you have to flush your toilet five times and blame the blockage on government regulations....
3) If you still think Mexico is going to pay for anything...
4) If you believe the sound of windmills causes cancer, or even if you can just make a fabulous whirring sound...
5) If you do not yet understand that people in Puerto Rico are American citizens...
6) If you think taking bleach internally, through any orifice at all, will cure a deadly viral illness...
7) If you have been referring to your phone calls as "perfect", even when it's that annoying person from work, wanting to know what you plan to bring to the company potluck picnic and you just want to scream but instead you say, "I can bring noodle salad-but first, I'd like a favor"...
8) If you think Coronavirus is a hoax, "Space Jews" are real, and stealth aircraft are invisible to the naked eye, even when you stand next to one...
9) If you still think the former President would enjoy having a good ol' cold brew with you on your boat (or that he will pardon you for treason or even a traffic ticket)...
10) If you don't quite understand how the FBI uses facial recognition technology to look at your selfies from the insurrection, many of which you plastered on social media...
Now, I could keep going and add a belief in Satanic, blood drinking politician cults and we could throw in Jeff Epstein's untimely demise or we could talk about Bin Salman and his "Bone Saw Band" or Putin and his famous tea parties, or Jewish space lasers and the ghost of Hugo Chavez, or a hundred other things from Black Lives Matter to black Sharpies-but I'd be exhausted! I can stand just so much before my reserves begin running low. Fighting fascism is not for sissies! But I need a nap.
So, I'm signing off again, from the lake. Stay safe and well, friends-and remember, if you haven't read the Constitution, how will you ever truly defend it?
